One day it came to me, what would happen if I put all of the energy that I use to keep my eating disorder alive towards recovery? Actually, scratch that, what would happen if I just used a fraction of that energy to channel towards getting better? I would be a changed person, I’m sure of it. But ouch, that would be really hard work! On the flip side, I can’t live like this forever right? I mean let’s be real, I’m miserable. I’m destroying relationships, slowing killing myself and disrespecting the body God gave me to care for. I’m stronger than this.
I need to change. Alright, let’s do this. Let’s do the darn thing. Let’s recover.
What about you? Have you ever approached the thought of recovery like that?
Do you know what?
You are strong! Do you know how much physical exertion it takes to exercise without any fuel in your system? How many hours a day you spend on planning how you will avoid meals with friends and what you will and will not eat? The hours you obsess over counting calories? The relationships your eating disorder has severed? The amount of money you have wasted on binge foods, laxatives, etc? The amount of time you have put into keeping your eating disorder a secret?
The above list is not meant to discourage you, on the contrary, it is written to empower you. I want to challenge you to take just a fraction of that energy and channel it towards a positive change.YOU CAN DO IT!!! Recovering from an eating disorder isn’t about being perfect. It’s about making smart daily choices, even if you don’t feel like doing them, because those choices will turn into a habit, which will cultivate a lifestyle change. And this takes time, so please be patient with yourself.
Remember, the scale can’t measure your strength, beauty, courage, determination, perseverance, joy, love, gentleness, compassion, athletic ability and purpose. So you see, your validation of beauty and sense of acceptance, is not the width of your waist or the number you see on the scale.
It’s in your worth as a daughter of God.