Our society tries to make women believe that dating is supposed to be like the TV show Sex and the City. Well let me tell you something, that is a lie from the pit of hell. That’s not dating, that’s glorified objectification and impurity at its finest. An authentic man doesn’t taint a woman’s purity. An authentic man stands up to heroically protect it, and vice versa. That show and countless others is the direct opposite of this beautiful truth.
One woman told me, But he’s so cute, and those eyes…oh, I just know I can change him. That’s a huge red flag, not his eyes, but the fact that you think you could change him. My advice to you, never enter into a relationship thinking you are a going to change a man. It will not work. Instead, focus on striving to become the best version of you and let him seek the Lord to pursue and win your heart. The Blessed Mother is holding your hand and the hand of the one you have a vocation with and when the time is right, she will join your hands together. Until then, trust in God’s beautiful plan for you and continually strive to be the best version of yourself.
Another woman asked me what my dating experiences are like as a survivor of abuse. I will be very honest with you, it has been challenging. But I have grown so much through the process and continue to discover more about myself and others as I date. My doctor once told me that the man I marry will be generously blessed by God Himself, with compassion, gentleness, patience and the ability to make me feel protected and safe. The same is true for you, and you will learn as you date what type of man complements your personality. For example, one time a guy told me that my desire to feel safe and protected was ridiculous, he didn’t know how to reassure me and the list goes on a mile long. On the contrary, just recently, I was definitely testing a man to see what his responses would be and asked, Well what if I ask you 50 times if you’re going to make me feel safe? He said, When you’re with me, I hope you will just feel safe so you won’t even need to ask. But if you’d like to then I’ll answer you 51 times with a smile. And the answer will always be, absolutely.
That is the type of man you need to wait for. That is the type of man you should date.
“Each sex has its strengths; each sex has its weaknesses. According to God’s admirable plan, the husband is to help his wife overcome these weaknesses so that all the treasures of her femininity will come to full bloom, and vice versa. Men become ‘themselves’ thanks to the love of their wives. And wives are transformed by their husband’s strength and courage.” – Alice Von Hildebrand