Sometimes the pain feels like it’s about to suffocate me. I try so hard to breath, but I can’t escape the weight of the pain. I breath in and out, and the tears come. I let them come, like the morning welcomes the sun, because through them I know this pain is real. I know I need to face the past, no matter how traumatic it was. If I don’t own it, I will never heal and be free. I desire to be free with all of my heart because the weight of the pain is unbearable. The nightmares frighten me. I lock my bedroom door, attempting to keep them out. The lock doesn’t hold them back and I wake up with tears that won’t subside.
What must I do to be free? I ask between sobs. From a voice that is gentle and safe I hear, forgive Maura.
Forgive. But why? I did nothing wrong? Where is the logic in forgiveness?
And the same voice said, Where’s the logic in My Son dying on a cross for you?
Love defies logic, and to forgive, is to mirror the Divine. – From my book Choosing to See Beauty (this entry was written years ago).