Those Thoughts Use to Plague Me

Last weekend, my best friend Karissa and I stopped at Whole Foods to get coffee prior to going to a movie. The barista looked at me, May I help you miss, what can I get started for you? 

Can I get a small mocha to go please. Would you like whip cream on that miss? (People say miss a lot in the south). Yes, please.

That will be 3.27.

I reached into my brown bag (a Longchamp bag given to me by my sister Clare) for my wallet. Karissa gently touched my bag, Let me get this for you Maura. Really? That’s so nice of you. Yes, I would like to treat you. My mind flooded with memories as Karissa paid, some good and others that were not pleasant to relive

Someone once told me, The depth of our love is how well we receive. I never use to be able to receive love from people. I always questioned their motives. Why does this person want to help me? Why are they being so nice to me? They couldn’t possibly mean what they say. How could they love me? I feel so unlovable, they must want something in return. I mean really, what is it that they want from me? 

Those thoughts use to plague me. While it is still difficult at times to trust, especially when it comes to men/relationships I have made tremendous progress. I am so grateful for God the Father’s love in my life and His hand over me. He desires the same healing for you!

Receiving appropriate love is very important. It allows the giver to get out of themselves and think of another. Therefore, when I would turn down a perfectly genuine gesture of love from a friend it brought the attention to me, instead of focusing on the giver who was trying to do a kind act. So really, when you receive love from others, you are allowing the giver to grow in virtue and character, and you, the receiver, are learning too. You are learning to trust again, which is exceedingly challenging after various traumatic events, when people have let you down, or when you constantly question other’s motives.

Perhaps you think of yourself as I did, someone unworthy of love. That is a lie and you MUST combat those thoughts with Truth. You are worth more than you can even fathom. You my friend, are a child of God, an heir to the Kingdom of Heaven. You have transcendent value just as you are – a son or daughter of the Father. His love is not conditioned on your physical appearance, the grades you get in school, your athletic ability or what you accomplish. He loves you just the way you are and when He gazes at you all He sees is His child, whom He yearns to help and protect.

How could you not be worth something with a future and Father such as those?

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2 thoughts on “Those Thoughts Use to Plague Me

  1. Thank you Maura…even at 60 years old, I still have problems believing that I am worth loving simply because God created me as His child. God is still healing the trauma.

    God bless you for your posts…..I don’t feel so alone .

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